55 days had passed since grandma is gone...forever...up tll now..i still cant believe it and cant bear to put down my true feelings...it had been a while...
i still did not want to believe that the day i receive the call from my mum....it really happen....i remember my mum n i was just talking about grandma just a day before it really happen...we kept thinking that grandma is getting better and she will get better....but that day...during that resort management tutorial...i will never forget that dead and empty feeling i felt when my mum called me and ask me to come down to the hospital...
for days i can't bear to sleep alone....always sleeping in the same room with my mum...i roughly remember that i kept calling out to someone in my sleep...waking up in the middle of the night..i asked mum whether i had called out in my sleep...my mum always say nothing...i know i did call out....but not sure to who....
whenever we went to visit my cousins and grandpa...."grandma's house" will always be at the tip of my tougue before i change it to "jin yee's house" ....that habit....can't be forgetten easily...i thought i would never had to feel that type of dreadful feeling again....but when i kept thinking 'what if is my grandmother and grandfather, will i go through that process of mourning again'...
I CAN'T THINK ABOUT THOSE THINGS!!!!!! WAKE UP AND LOOK AT WHAT IS IN FRONT OF ME!!!!!!!!!!
i keep reminding myself of that....i just can't stand it....i don't want to face it...i'm not brave enough to....
No comments:
Post a Comment